September 29, 2005
One Call, That's All...
Aren't TV lawyers charming? Their ads come in two forms. Dull or Shriek. They all imply and suggest that if you hire them, they'll "get you what you deserve."
Excuse me, do they KNOW you or your case?
Some are so boring that they should never be seen by folks while operating heavy machinery; deep sleep is soon to follow. Suffice to say, these fellows simply play the name recognition/market penetration game. They aren't the 'core' problem but they lend repetitions to the onslaught. Others, the real malignants, feature such fascinating moments as lawyers wrapped in the flag, playing football on some electric game board, lawyers smiling with enough teeth to fill up every dental chair in Charleston, lawyers snarling while smiling (a tough act there!) and lawyers invoking Motherhood and Apple Pie and let us not forget cars falling out of the sky and of course, they ALL Care about You! (...and of course, will promptly return your phone calls. May I toss a derisive "DUH!" in here now.)
It is these shilling shriekers, these oleaginous promisers, most of whom couldn't find the courthouse if it were sewn to their rearends, that have really tossed the proverbial cow pie into the public's understanding of our trial by jury system.
Impressive, aren't they? I don't think so.
What a wonderful job they've done in trashing our beloved profession.
But, they cry in outrage as the turnstiles to their tollfree numbers spin, we have First Amendment rights!! Indeed they do but I have yet to see where the First Amendment protects them from criticism because of their trashy, tawdry, cheap, stupid come-ons. Have you?
And by the way, as they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, everything after "but" is bull____! Point.Truth be told, these ads work. They draw folks in-mostly the unsophisticated, scared, ill-informed, naive.
And too, they also work to lessen the public's trust and intellectual investment in the trial by jury system.
These ads, these oceans and waves of TV lawyer ads, have cost countless true victims who come to courthouses legitimately seeking the power of the jury their true access for along with the insurance industry's campaigns for 'Tort Reform' (what a bogus LIE that is!), these dopey loudmouth TV advertising lawyers have helped mightily in creating an atmosphere where the true trial lawyer is painted with their sorry brush.
Thus, the jury presumes a plethora of negative things about the plaintiff and his case and his lawyer from the get-go and the deck is stacked heavy before the first sworn word is spoken.
Nice job, boys and girls. Shame on you. Didn't your Momma and Daddy teach you anything about dignity and restraint or was it just "all about you"?
- EVFG
